mark tidsworth

We think we can forgive anyone most anything. We believe we have forgiven everyone most everything.

But then, we run into it. We run into a circumstance which triggers those deeply buried feelings. Or, we slow down enough (like during a holiday weekend), that our defenses of a busy life or focused work melt away, and what’s unforgiven rises to the surface.

We can forgive most anyone most anything…except that. Because that hurt too much, affected people I love, was a genuine and deep hurt, brought lasting effects to my and our lives. That injury was never healed…only scabbed over. That pain turned into bitterness, giving birth to resentment. We even thought we had forgiven; believed it was all done…given it to God, so to speak. But that one…that wound was just too deep to forgive, try as we might.

What do we do, when try as we might, we cannot forgive?

Step 1 – Turn to Jesus, the most excellent forgiveness practitioner this world’s seen. Recognize this pain, hurt, and now bitterness and resentment…is still smaller than the forgiveness required of Jesus.

Step 2 – Pray for a shrinkage. Some healing…some forgiveness, is so far beyond us, we discover we cannot do it. Somebody beyond us has to give aid. Pray that God will surround that cold hard bitter stone inside us with love…chipping away our resistance, reluctance, and everything in us that screams out against forgiving. Pray that God’s grace will melt our hardness, break apart our unwillingness, and soften our judgment. Some forgiving requires power beyond ourselves.

Step 3 – Repeat.

Through the grace, love, and power of Jesus Christ our Lord, may it be so…even today.